Monday, May 13, 2013

Lattes are Magical

This blog post popped into my head last night while I was riding the high of finally having an iced latte - with peppermint essential oil - after 2+ days of no coffee while I did a partial juice cleanse. My teen has been watching health documentaries for a few weeks now, and we sat down to view, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" together the other night. It was good, and very inspirational. Seeing as how I have gained a little more curves than even curvy-loving-me is comfortable with - and my shorts are a bit more snug than I'd like - I thought this was a Great Idea!

=========== IMPORTANT NOTE TO SELF =============

Great Ideas are deceptive. They grab hold of you and shake you, pump you up and convince you that Everything Will Be Perfect If You Do This New Amazing Thing! Not to say that a new idea is bad, of course. But I tend to have a small problem with Great Ideas, especially ones from documentaries, infomercials, or inspirational books. I take them to extremes, and then suck myself into a vortex of hell for a few days while wondering what is wrong with my life all of a sudden. ALL OR NOTHING, BABY!!


So, being a Juicer Owner already, I figured, "Hell ya! I'll have juice all day, every day, for a week or so! And I'll lose like 10 pounds! And I'll feel wonderful for my upcoming trip!"

I like juice. I like homemade juice a lot. It's fun to make, and yummy to drink. A bit of a pain in the booty to clean up afterwards, but nothing evil.

Here's the thing; I also like coffee. With cream. Chemically-laden, full-fat, vanilla creamer is my choice. Lots of it. Some people have referred to my coffee as "milk" on occasion. I am okay with that. I only have one cup a day, mostly because two cups of coffee make me so twitchy that it takes my normal bouncy personality and turns it into a creepy cartoonish nightmare. 

One cup. Surely I couldn't have any kind of physical NEED for coffee if I only consume one cup a day. Right?

As it turns out, eliminating one cup of coffee + creamer (okay, okay... creamer + coffee) turned the inside of my skull into an overpowered Vise of Death. Complete with overwhelming nausea and a wish to crawl into a deep, dark hole, never to return.

Unfortunately, since I assumed that ONE CUP of coffee was no big deal, I didn't make the connection between the Vise of Death and a cuppa joe until a few days later. After trying nearly everything I could think of to help myself not want to gouge my eyes out with my thumbs, I made myself a soothing iced latte with peppermint.

And the angels sang. Rainbows appeared. A unicorn trotted into the room, bowed its head and presented me with a tiara. I may have wept. This most likely means that I am addicted to coffee. Or chemically-laden creamer. I am okay with that. If it means that I can live a unicorn-rainbow-tiara existence, then I embrace it. 
How I felt after my first sip.

This morning I made myself a really yummy apple-carrot-lime-cucumber fresh juice. Deeeelicious. And now I will have a Magical Latte, possibly with lavender. That's a Great Idea that I think will work out well.